On this holiday weekend, we are beginning our series on Siblings. We will be dedicating the September theme to their stories, their journey with CHD . Our siblings voices are not often heard through the the chaos that can come with appointments and procedures, but CHD takes its toll on them as well. This week, we hear from Amy, who wrote this piece about her baby sister, Gretta, nearly a decade ago. However, her words still hold true today.
I always wanted a baby sister. I never knew how much it would change my life when she got here though. My little sister was born with a heart defect. Half a heart actually. We both love each other with a whole heart in spite of it.
My step mom got pregnant at the end of my junior year in high school, and had nothing but trouble with her pregnancy. She spent a lot of time in the hospital which didn’t make it easy on me and my dad as I was in school and helped Daddy on the farm. It was right before I started my senior year that we all got the news that changed us forever. Valerie was pregnant with twins! That was the end of the good news…
We found out in the same appointment the Gretta had a heart defect and Daisee had another birth defect that she wouldn’t live with. It is hard to describe the feelings a person has when something that they have wanted for so long it taken away from them. I know that Valerie and my dad had it hard too but I was losing a sister before I even got to meet her. The one thing I knew for sure was that the other one would be loved and cared for more than any other baby sister could be.
As I started school it seemed like every day I came home Valerie had been to another appointment. No matter how much Daddy and Valerie tried to focus on me and my life I knew they were thinking about what else was coming. They missed a lot of my football games because Valerie was in the hospital but it was okay if it meant my sister would be okay.
When Gretta was born I took the day off of school and was so excited to meet her. Little did I know that seeing her in the NICU for a few minutes would be all I got to see her before they took her away to the children’s hospital down the road. I didn’t get to see her for 5 days. Gretta had surgery when she was 9 days old. I never thought I could love a sister so much and I didn’t want to let her go.
Gretta had her surgery and did really well with it. She got to come home on Christmas eve and I couldn’t think of a better present. I knew not to expect any presents since Daddy and Valerie had been at the hospital so much with Gretta. They surprised me with a new camera though. I was so glad and made sure the first picture I took was of Gretta.
Over the next few months things were different in our house. We were more aware of the germs we came into contact with and all of the doctor appointments meant that my family was gone a lot. I made sure to keep my grades up and to take care of that little sister as much as I could. It was time to get ready for prom and graduation. It was also time to get ready for Gretta’s next surgery. My parents made sure to take time for me to make sure I got a prom dress and all of the announcements were taken care of along with cap and gown. It’s hard to be excited about school and graduation when the most important little person in your life is going to have open heart surgery. I couldn’t stay away though. I went to the hospital to see her in my prom dress after we ate dinner out. I wanted to be with her but I wanted to be with my boyfriend and friends too.
It seemed like anytime there was something big in my life Gretta as in the hospital. I was 2 days over my due date when Gretta had her 4th open heart surgery and a month away from my due date when she had her 5th open heart surgery.
Sometimes I look back and think about what I may have missed. I know nothing was more important than my little sister though. She is now 8 years old and doing really well. She loves her nieces as much as I love her and even though it isn’t easy being her sister sometimes, she is definitely worth it.
Amy is a stay at home mom with three girls and big sister to Gretta age 10. Gretta was born with Tricuspid Atresia, Transposition of the Great Arteries and a Hypoplastic Right Ventricle. Gretta has had 5 open heart surgeries along with countless other procedures. Gretta is 7 years post Fontan and is doing very well. Gretta loves to dance, go camping with her Girl Scout Troop and hanging out with her sister and nieces. Amy is very active in her church and her girls’ Girl Scout troop.