Mamas, May the FORCE Be With You!
To close our Mothers Blog series for May, CCHD is delighted to have guest writer Jennifer Page, probably best known to you as Mini Darth Vader’s mom! Her son Max was the Mini Darth Vader from the 2011 VW Superbowl commercial. Jennifer speaks nationally about her family’s journey of transformation. She is a special contributor to CNN, Ladies Home Journal, and Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Heart Institute.
Once I entered the foreign land of Congenital Heart Disease, I was forever changed. It’s a strange place where I feel helpless and strong … impatient and patient … frightened and peaceful. Raising my son with a life long illness has brought me to my knees, challenged me to dig deep spiritually and eventually hone coping skills necessary for this unpredictable ride.
My son, Max, was born with a broken heart and a variety of other complex issues. He is 11 years old and has endured 11 surgeries. Each time we hand him over, we just pray he returns mended and whole. Last summer he was facing 2 surgeries and he wanted to discuss heaven. He cried as he contemplated heaven as a possibility. He whispered he knew he should be happy about heaven – but there is still so much he wants to do.
In true Star Wars spirit we have learned how to find and use our FORCE to shine bright in the midst of struggle.
F – Forgive – I have learned to forgive people who didn’t even know they hurt my feelings. I have forgiven people who I wished would show up better for me. Most importantly, I have forgiven myself. I didn’t cause Max’s condition. As a mom, I just felt so responsible.
O – Optimism – This is a deliberate choice I must make everyday. Robin Roberts, ABC Good Morning America, fought a tough cancer. She wisely said that optimism is like a muscle and you have to work it out everyday, because it takes just a pinhole of darkness to bring you down. So true.
R – Receive – At some point in this journey the scales of reciprocity tip and I am unable to repay the kindness and love that people want to pour into my family. I am a much a better giver than receiver. Receiving is humbling and it’s a reminder that I am in need. Allowing the love in has been a huge area of growth for me. I changed by simply saying YES to a nice offer – instead of my knee jerk NO reaction.
C – Commit – Grief and gratitude are my biggest drivers. I find that committing to a cause and serving others helps this story make sense. I heal a little more each time I give. Start out small. I’ve found that God will give you amazing ways to make a difference once you commit.
E – Experience – Meeting other families and sharing common experiences is one of the greatest blessings of this ordeal. It took me a while to be open with my story. Almost as if I didn’t give it a voice, then it wasn’t real. Now I lean on, learn from and love my heart friends beyond words.
There is no right way to handle adversity. If you are like me, you will fumble a bit and eventually find your stride. God doesn’t promise us a smooth ride, but if we keep showing up then he can bless the mess and create something beautiful.
And to you sweet Max … I love being your mom … May the force always be with you.
Jennifer Page is a passionate leader with Children’s Hospital Association, Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, several health related charities, manages The Alderson Family Foundation and dedicates countless hours giving back to her community. Before she became Vader’s chauffer, she earned a Communications Degree from University of Montana, played collegiate golf and managed golf courses in Southern California for 8 years. She is forever grateful for the organizations that have helped her son Max flourish despite having a medical challenge. Jennifer lives in Orange County, California with her husband Buck and sons Max and Ellison. Their dog and a turtle round out the zoo!